Sunrise, sunset..

I found a flyer laying on our dinig room table today. I picked it up, and realized it was for a college, so I figured I might as well throw it away, since I'm pretty much set on going to WVU. For some reason or another, I decided it was in my best interest to look inside. As I open the pamphlet, I see beautiful pictures of this city, and I'm thinking, "Hmm.. this looks familiar.." When I read the campus location: Rome, Italy. I don't think there is anything I want more than to be able to live in Rome... the art over there is amazing, the city is beautiful; I love Italy. So I was very into the idea of investigating further. So I decided that I'd check the internet between first and second block, since I have twenty minutes to do nothing anyway. So I checked on it.. and realized that a semester there, with 15 - 17 credit hours, would cost me about the same amount as a full year at WVU. And all of the expenses that are involved are outrageous.. but for some reason.. I still feel this strong pull towards this school. I asked Mom and Dad if they'd look at it.. and they said they would.. but I don't think they'll want to pay for it. I can apply for scholarships, but there aren't many that I'm eligible for. I figure the most I can do right now is pray that God leads me in the right direction. I just find it weird that a college in the place that I want to live the most sends me a pamphlet right at the time that I start thinking WVU isn't really what I want out of life. Don't get me wrong -- I love it up there -- but their standards of admission are so low.. well, low for me. I want to be challenged. WVU has SO MANY students.. this campus has about 750. Yeah, that's it. Very small classes (student-to-teach ratio of 10/1).. I would love having smaller classes. I could get more help from my teachers, and interact with the other students much easier. My original point, though, is that it is a very selective school, and I'd definitely be challenged there. Plus -- how many people can say, "I went to college in Rome"?!

The other problem is.. and I know this is a long shot.. but if Matt and I would still be together then.. that would be.. that'd probably be the day that I'd break up with him. I'd have that acceptance letter, and that would be the end of it. Unless he was a very, very trusting, willing-to-make-it-work kind of boyfriend. But I don't even think that I could wait four years to really be together. It'd be hard to see each other on holidays -- let alone my own family -- so I don't know how it would work out.

So mostly, I'm just thankful that I have a God who's looking out for me and helping my family and I to make correct decisions. I just hope we get the message..

Cut it loose; watch you work the room..

The funny thing is.. every doubt that I have when we're apart is erased when we're together.

The funny thing is.. you can calm me down within two minutes just by holding a normal conversation.

The funny thing is.. we can be sitting in silence, reading two different books, and still know that we love each other more than anything, without saying a word.

The funny thing is.. this time last year, I still wasn't over my first love.

The funny thing is.. this time last year, you were still stuck on a certain someone else.

The funny thing is.. I could always get emotion into words.. but not with you.

The funny thing is.. I've felt more secure these past two months than I ever have in my life.

The funny thing is.. I have more faith in this than anything else.. including my career choice.

The funny thing is.. not only have I become closer to you, but I've become closer to God through this relationship.

The funny thing is.. we can stay in and watch a movie, and I'll still say it was the best date ever.

The funny thing is.. something as simple as a kiss on the cheek says so much.

The funny thing is.. I know I'm not the only one who provides a soundtrack for their life.

The funny thing is.. even though you sing completely off-key.. I love to hear you.

The funny thing is.. I sleep better if I've just gotten off the phone with you.

The funny thing is.. I smile constantly now. I've never smiled this much, in or out of a relationship.

The funny thing is.. I'm starting to regret being involved in so much.. because I see you less and less.

The funny thing is.. you actually give me a chance to hang out with friends if I want.

The funny thing is.. you asked if you could kiss me.

The funny thing is.. you aren't wrapped up in the physicals of the relationship; you are, however, wrapped up, in the emotionals, and that does, eventually, lead me to be wrapped up in your arms.

The funny thing is.. we can have a two minute awkward silence on the phone, and then pick up conversation like nothing happened.

The funny thing is.. I feel like we've been friends forever.

The funny thing is.. I actually look forward to each day now.

The funny thing is.. I've been happier with myself, my life, my future, and my faith ever since we started dating.

The funny thing is.. I asked you out. And you didn't care.

The funny thing is.. I actually trust you. Completely.

The funny thing is.. I'm not the only one who talks about the future with a promise.

The funny thing is.. I believe you.

The funny thing is.. you make me want to forget all about Matthew.. others made me want to run back to him.

The funny thing is.. you still give me butterflies, two months after we started dating.

The funny thing is.. I made you wait for two months before I asked you out.

The funny thing is.. you didn't even complain.

The funny thing is.. I found someone who loves "Iris" as much as I do.

The funny thing is.. you've made me want to become a better person.

The funny thing is.. I think that you can do a lot better than me.. but you're still with me, and that's amazing.

The funny thing is.. I couldn't even explain how I feel when we're together if I tried.

The funny thing is.. I love you.

And that's a big deal.

Nights I'd like to keep tucked away for safe-keeping.

Tonight was one of those laid-back, relaxing, peaceful nights with my boyfriend that I wish I could just keep in my back pocket, so when I'm having a bad day, I can pull it out and smile. Of course, I have so many texts in my phone, and memories in my head, and notes, that I could always refer to them. But tonight was just very fun.. spontaneous, yes, but fun nonetheless. It started out as a not-really-planned family dinner, with my parents and Matt. Originally.. they were going to eat by themselves.. but it was a little crowded, so we all sat together. We had a couple interesting conversations.. I wonder how Matt feels about Dad, sometimes. I mean.. Dad's crazy.. haha.. he asked Matt if he made out with me.. honestly, why would you ask that at dinner? lol.. yeah, it was a good meal. So then, Matt and I went up to the mall and hung out for four or so hours. But it was really nice, because it wasn't like, "Oh, we have to be at this place at this time, blah blah blah." It was more of a.. "So, where do you want to go, now?" We walked around most of the time.. talked.. just spent time together. Stopped and talked to some friends.. saw Becky and Brad.. Tasha.. Devin and company.. The Ging.. Christian.. a lot of people from church. I got to buy some Fall Out Boy stuff.. found out that Matt is, indeed, hoping to go to the Goo Goo Dolls concert.. which means I'm planning on buying him a ticket.. but that's not why my night was so good. It was just.. getting to walk around and be goofy and act myself.. for four straight hours.. plus dinner. I love that boy so much.. or maybe I just really care about him.. whatever it is.. it's a rather strong feeling.. I love being around him. He makes me really happy.. and he compliments me just enough that I know he means it, but not to the point that he's a psycho-obsessive-just-complimenting-to-sound-nice boyfriend. He's rather generous with his wallet.. which is quite a switch from what I've had in the past.. I mean, it's not like it's the most important thing, but it's nice to get flowers every once in a while, or be taken out to dinner. He really makes me smile a lot.. I get off the phone with him or come home from being with him, and I have this grin from ear to ear.. he is, by no means, afraid to hold my hand or whatever in public, which is pretty amazing (especially the whatever?).. and tonight, we got to spend some money, hang out with some friends, read some good literature (Anime/Manga and Rolling Stone), indulge in a great milkshake (Orange Juilius and Chick-Fil-A), spend some "quality time" in Crafts-and-Things (we won't go there).. and just.. be us.

It was nice.

I can't wait for my license. We'll be worse than Grace and Ernie. :)

Still haven't gotten around to talking about him about the couple things that have been bothering me lately.. but I'll get to it eventually. I was going to do it this weekend but.. when the night is going so well.. why would I want to say something and dampen the mood? Maybe I'll write down a list of stuff to say and talk to him about it on the phone sometime.. or the next time we're together.

Or maybe I'll just wimp out like I always do and put up with it.