I have to turn this in for College English 101 tomorrow morning, so I thought I'd post it. Our assignment was to pick a topic out of a list in our books, and write a seven-hundred to seven-hundred and fifty word paper on it. I chose the topic involving someone I know well, and I picked Matt to write my paper on. So here goes. :)
.++.
The person I am choosing to describe is my best friend, Matt Wotring. We first started talking near the end of July of last year, but didn’t really become friends until we hung out at a mutual friend’s birthday party at the beginning of October. Over the course of the past year, he and I have continued to grow closer and spend as much time together as possible. He has one of those charismatic personalities that is hard to find in the present world. He is very close with all of his family – and believe me, he has a lot of family living nearby – and is probably closer with his cousins than he is with any of his friends. He is currently a senior a Calvary Christian Academy and plans on continuing his education at Frostburg State University, majoring in Computer Science.
One thing that I’ve always admired about Matt is his perseverance. Even though his father died when he was only four years old, and the person he calls “Dad” now is merely a step-father, he still continues to always look on the bright side of things. Many people that go through something like that become depressed and withdrawn, or just never really recover fully. But because of Matt’s cheery disposition, you would’ve never known he’d ever gone through so much at such a young age. Even today, he has this uncanny ability to let things roll off his back and keep smiling – a character trait I’ve always thought highly of, but was never able to adapt in my own life.
Matt is a fairly tall person – somewhere between 5’10” and 5’11” – so it’s always a challenge for me to give him a hug. His black hair is almost always disheveled, and he generally keeps it cut short due to the dress code policy at his school. During the summer, however, he grows it out longer and shaggy. Although he’ll sometimes have a 5’oclock shadow, he never purposely lets any facial hair grow. He has beautiful eyes that are dark brown around the pupils but become lighter as they move toward the edges of the iris, and have specks of darker brown in them. He has an amazing smile – in addition to having sparkling white teeth, he has one of those warm, inviting smiles that instantly make a person more comfortable around him. He’s pretty self-conscious about his shorter legs and large feet, in addition to his weight. He isn’t what a doctor would classify as “thin” – to be honest, he’s slight overweight – but I always say, “The bigger the person, the bigger the heart,” and Matt is no exception.
Matt’s lifestyle greatly reflects the Christian upbringing he has received. Not only does he have good morals, but he has a very loving personality as well. He is one of the most caring people I’ve met – he almost always puts the needs and feelings of other people above his own needs and feelings. He won’t hesitate to loan you money, or take your shift at work, or even just to rake your lawn. He is also very generous, both with his time and his money. He always buys his friends video games (or anything else they want), and he will schedule his day around a person if he has to. He is probably one of the nicest people I’ve ever met – even if he has a problem with somebody, he can still face them with a smile, and ignore the urge to say something rude and unnecessary to them. He’s pretty hard working most of the time, and he strives to make every effort his very best – especially on the soccer field. Matt’s number one passion in life (aside from his girlfriend, I’m told) is soccer. He is the main goalie, as well as one of the team captains, of his school’s soccer team, and his passion for the sport is evident in the effort he puts into it, and the look of enjoyment on his face. He is also very intelligent, and teaches me something new almost every day. The most attractive parts of his personality, though, are his remarkable sense of humor and listening abilities. No matter how bad of a day I’ve had, he will always stop what he’s doing to listen to me vent, and then bring a smile to my face again. Matt is honestly someone who I not only look up to, but also try to model my own personality and attitudes after.
.++.
And, by the way.. I love him very much. :)
9.30.2007
9.24.2007
Hmm.
[MARTIN'S]
Aside from screwing up my schedule, work hasn't been so bad lately. I really like my job, to be honest. I don't even know why I like my job, but I do. The people there are generally friendly.. and if they see you outside of work, they'll still stop and say hey. Like Orin did tonight. While he spied on me as I browsed through the ornaments in Hallmark. Creep.. haha.. jk. :)
[MATT]
Matt is just amazing. I can't say that enough. Nine months and a day ago, I would've never realized how different and amazing my life would become by asking Matt out. And now.. I'm so glad I did it. We spent pretty much the whole day together on Saturday, and it was nothing short of incredible. We missed our exit (twice!) and I ripped my pants, but all in all, we enjoyed ourselves. And I love him more than anything else in the entire world. And he's going to propose to me in fifty-seven months. According to him, at least.
[SPEAKING OF]
pants.. I'm writing a descriptive essay on them. Which is why it's somewhat coincidental that I just ripped them. It adds a nice element to my essay, at least. I think I'm going to start off by describing the general appearance of them.. and then get into where different rips, tears, and holes appeared, and how they got there. I think it'll be interesting. I hope, at least.
[EVERYTHING ELSE]
Everything else has pretty much been shot to hell. I haven't been getting along with my parents lately.. at all.. seriously. We've been fighting non-stop. It's ridiculous. And college.. ehh, actually, that's not going so bad. At least I know what I want to do with my life. Sort of. The only real thing I know about my future is that I want Matt in it, as my husband. Nine months and I've determined this. That's too soon. Ughh.. I hate this.
I'm going to go work on this essay now.. so.. yeah. Maybe another update soon.
Aside from screwing up my schedule, work hasn't been so bad lately. I really like my job, to be honest. I don't even know why I like my job, but I do. The people there are generally friendly.. and if they see you outside of work, they'll still stop and say hey. Like Orin did tonight. While he spied on me as I browsed through the ornaments in Hallmark. Creep.. haha.. jk. :)
[MATT]
Matt is just amazing. I can't say that enough. Nine months and a day ago, I would've never realized how different and amazing my life would become by asking Matt out. And now.. I'm so glad I did it. We spent pretty much the whole day together on Saturday, and it was nothing short of incredible. We missed our exit (twice!) and I ripped my pants, but all in all, we enjoyed ourselves. And I love him more than anything else in the entire world. And he's going to propose to me in fifty-seven months. According to him, at least.
[SPEAKING OF]
pants.. I'm writing a descriptive essay on them. Which is why it's somewhat coincidental that I just ripped them. It adds a nice element to my essay, at least. I think I'm going to start off by describing the general appearance of them.. and then get into where different rips, tears, and holes appeared, and how they got there. I think it'll be interesting. I hope, at least.
[EVERYTHING ELSE]
Everything else has pretty much been shot to hell. I haven't been getting along with my parents lately.. at all.. seriously. We've been fighting non-stop. It's ridiculous. And college.. ehh, actually, that's not going so bad. At least I know what I want to do with my life. Sort of. The only real thing I know about my future is that I want Matt in it, as my husband. Nine months and I've determined this. That's too soon. Ughh.. I hate this.
I'm going to go work on this essay now.. so.. yeah. Maybe another update soon.
9.15.2007
Call this a prelude to a lifetime of you.
[FOOTBALL]
Frankfort is now 2 - 1. We've beaten Moorefield and Hampshire, but we lost to Fort Hill. That's not very shocking. WVU definitely beat the Terps, and I'm definitely upset about that. Either way.. go Terps!
Speaking of Terps.. Mr. Cowgill lost a bet with our class, so he had to take down his Terps flag. So I asked him to borrow it for the weekend. After the football game last night, I told my parents they had to go ahead and leave, and then I switched Mom's WVU flag with his Maryland flag. That was funniest thing.. her reaction was priceless. And then I hung it up somewhere in the house, and she already took it down. Jerk.. lol
[DRAMA]
There is so much drama starting at our school, it isn't even funny. I'm doing my best to stay out of it, and honestly, ever since I've stopped talking to some people.. or at least not talked to some people as much.. I've done a good job of staying out of it. Although, I must admit, it is quite tough, since it seems to follow a lot of my friends. But I still try not to get involved.
[LTC]
I've named our little section of lunch table the Lunch Table Crew (stolen from Big Brother's LNC - Late Night Crew). We're always talking politics or religion, or who's dating and who's broken up and who just can't keep their legs closed. We also help each other with our first block or third block homework, because we're pretty much all in the same class. And we talk about Matt and Arik a lot.. it's wonderful. I love my lunch table. It's pretty much comprised of Melicha, Sarah, Carrie, myself, and Megan. Melissa is there, but she talks to Lindsey a lot of them and doesn't participate in the discussion quite as much. But either way.. I love those guys.. and we need shirts made. :) haha
[STRESS]
I'm not nearly as stressed as I was at the beginning of the week. I got my first psychology test out of the way, as well as my first math test, and my first AP government test. The only score I'm completely sure of is math, because she handed it back.. and I got a 90%, although I didn't finish every problem. She's doing a retest, and I'm taking it, because I want an A. As far as AP government, on the multiple choice, I had an F. But then he let us correct the test, and I'll end up with about a B. But then there was an essay portion that was worth a lot more. So.. I'm hoping I got at least a B on everything. And psychology.. I added up my total.. and I think I got a low B or a high C. Not a very good score. But at the rate we take tests, I can more than make it up. Especially now that I know how the tests are. And it wasn't that the test was really difficult.. it was just that I had a lot of trouble studying and remembering because I was stressing out so bad. If my grades start to slip, the first thing that'll happen is I'll have to quit my job. If they continue to slip, then it'll either be extra-curricular activities or Matt. And either way, I'm not willing to give up either. But that's part of what had me stressed out -- fear of losing Matt and/or extracurriculars. And then I called him, to try to make me feel better.. and I was fine up until he said, "I love you." And then I lost it again. Ugh.. I hate stress. I'm still a little stressed, don't get me wrong.. but that's just because I have a lot of stuff to do and not enough time to do it.
[SMILE Team]
I stayed after school yesterday to help decorate with the SMILE team, and I felt really out of place at first. I'm not exactly decorating smart.. so of course, they send me to help with a group of freshmen, who have never done this before. I'd feel so much better if they would've sent me with a group of juniors or seniors, just because they know what kind of stuff to do. Don't get me wrong -- it was awesome that we had so many people there -- but I felt so lost. Then, I started going on trash duty and making sure everybody was doing okay. Mrs. Cowgill finally noticed the 'lost puppy dog' look and sent me to work with my friend Heather. Little did she know, Heather was leaving for work. So I put up a streamer or two and a little football picture.. and by the time I did then, Kenn came down and asked me for help. So the rest of the day was spent helping Kenn put up posters that Whitney and Madison so amazingly drew. Including.. a senior poster that we all got to sign.. that made me happy. But what made me happiest was the fact that there were probably.. ten or fifteen students that stayed after, in addition to me, to help out. It's so awesome to see that other people have a passion for doing what I love to do. And it makes me feel even better about being the Vice President, because we have a really great group of kids this year.
[MATT]
I can't even begin to tell you how much I love him. And I'm pretty much 100% sure I'm head over heels in love with him. When I say I want to marry him, I'm being rather serious. We've both talked about it, as a not-in-the-near-future topic, of course, and we both agree that it is the desirable result of our relationship. However, we both know things can change, and we both realize that not everything that's built to last does last. Still, though.. we love each other. :) haha.. he's so much fun to just spend time with and talk to. He's really done a great job of being there for me when I need him - something a lot of people have trouble with - and he's put so much work into this relationship. We haven't really fought, per se.. we've disagreed a few times, argued a few times, but we've talked out the problem and gotten over it. We don't fight every day like some relationships, and I'm taking that as a good sign. And if something does happen, we don't hold grudges about it for days or months.. or years.. we just get over it, forget it, and learn from it. Matt is the truly stable point of my life right now, and I am so thankful and so blessed to have him here.
[ANBERLIN]
I've been addicted to Anberlin for the past month or so. I think I'm going to go buy one of their CDs.. either Cities or Never Take Friendship Personal. Both of those have some really great songs on it. *shrug* Maybe I'll do that this weekend. I'm not sure yet. But their song "Time and Confusion" is amazing. And I would sing it to Matt if I could. I'll have to post the lyrics after I finish this up.
[SPEAKING OF..]
Speaking of finishing up.. I guess I'd better go get my work clothes washed and my psychology homework done. So.. until next time!
.++.
Anberlin - Time And Confusion
Woah oh! Yea yea! Woah oh yea yea woah oh!
Woah oh! Yea yea! Woah oh yea yea woah oh!
Live for today, we'll dream tomorrow;
We've got big plans in sight.
We'll take this city, and by nightfall -
The bright lights are calling -
Everything is g... see alloing our way.
Everything is just as we planned;
This is our future for what we've heard,
And I've still got your hand.
And it feels like, we could last forever,
And I'm not doing this alone.
When memories fade, we've got each other..
When time and confusion collide..
Singing, "I hold it all when I hold you."
When friends walk other ways, we've got each other;
I hold it all when I hold, I hold it all when I hold you.
Woah oh! Yea yea!
Woah oh yea yea woah oh!
We fell on hard times;
This isn't the ideal:
We're miles from home, doing the best that we can (the best that we can).
I wont do this without you (do this without you),
Wont do this without you so take heart,
'Cause you know that you have mine.
And it feels like, we could last forever,
And I'm not doin' this alone.
When memories fade, we've got each other..
When time and confusion collide..
Singing, "I hold it all when I hold you."
When friends walk other ways, we've got each other;
I hold it all when I hold, I hold it all when I hold..
It's not about the money we make,
It's about the passions that we ache for.
What makes your heart beat faster?
Tell me now, what does your body long after?
I don't care now where we live;
It's not where, or what, or who we were with.
I just need you in my life, so promise me again!
When memories fade, we've got each other..
When time and confusion collide..
Singing "I hold it all when I hold you."
When friends walk other ways, we've got each other;
I hold it all when I hold, I hold it all when I hold you.
Woah oh! Yea yea!
Woah oh yea yea woah oh!
Frankfort is now 2 - 1. We've beaten Moorefield and Hampshire, but we lost to Fort Hill. That's not very shocking. WVU definitely beat the Terps, and I'm definitely upset about that. Either way.. go Terps!
Speaking of Terps.. Mr. Cowgill lost a bet with our class, so he had to take down his Terps flag. So I asked him to borrow it for the weekend. After the football game last night, I told my parents they had to go ahead and leave, and then I switched Mom's WVU flag with his Maryland flag. That was funniest thing.. her reaction was priceless. And then I hung it up somewhere in the house, and she already took it down. Jerk.. lol
[DRAMA]
There is so much drama starting at our school, it isn't even funny. I'm doing my best to stay out of it, and honestly, ever since I've stopped talking to some people.. or at least not talked to some people as much.. I've done a good job of staying out of it. Although, I must admit, it is quite tough, since it seems to follow a lot of my friends. But I still try not to get involved.
[LTC]
I've named our little section of lunch table the Lunch Table Crew (stolen from Big Brother's LNC - Late Night Crew). We're always talking politics or religion, or who's dating and who's broken up and who just can't keep their legs closed. We also help each other with our first block or third block homework, because we're pretty much all in the same class. And we talk about Matt and Arik a lot.. it's wonderful. I love my lunch table. It's pretty much comprised of Melicha, Sarah, Carrie, myself, and Megan. Melissa is there, but she talks to Lindsey a lot of them and doesn't participate in the discussion quite as much. But either way.. I love those guys.. and we need shirts made. :) haha
[STRESS]
I'm not nearly as stressed as I was at the beginning of the week. I got my first psychology test out of the way, as well as my first math test, and my first AP government test. The only score I'm completely sure of is math, because she handed it back.. and I got a 90%, although I didn't finish every problem. She's doing a retest, and I'm taking it, because I want an A. As far as AP government, on the multiple choice, I had an F. But then he let us correct the test, and I'll end up with about a B. But then there was an essay portion that was worth a lot more. So.. I'm hoping I got at least a B on everything. And psychology.. I added up my total.. and I think I got a low B or a high C. Not a very good score. But at the rate we take tests, I can more than make it up. Especially now that I know how the tests are. And it wasn't that the test was really difficult.. it was just that I had a lot of trouble studying and remembering because I was stressing out so bad. If my grades start to slip, the first thing that'll happen is I'll have to quit my job. If they continue to slip, then it'll either be extra-curricular activities or Matt. And either way, I'm not willing to give up either. But that's part of what had me stressed out -- fear of losing Matt and/or extracurriculars. And then I called him, to try to make me feel better.. and I was fine up until he said, "I love you." And then I lost it again. Ugh.. I hate stress. I'm still a little stressed, don't get me wrong.. but that's just because I have a lot of stuff to do and not enough time to do it.
[SMILE Team]
I stayed after school yesterday to help decorate with the SMILE team, and I felt really out of place at first. I'm not exactly decorating smart.. so of course, they send me to help with a group of freshmen, who have never done this before. I'd feel so much better if they would've sent me with a group of juniors or seniors, just because they know what kind of stuff to do. Don't get me wrong -- it was awesome that we had so many people there -- but I felt so lost. Then, I started going on trash duty and making sure everybody was doing okay. Mrs. Cowgill finally noticed the 'lost puppy dog' look and sent me to work with my friend Heather. Little did she know, Heather was leaving for work. So I put up a streamer or two and a little football picture.. and by the time I did then, Kenn came down and asked me for help. So the rest of the day was spent helping Kenn put up posters that Whitney and Madison so amazingly drew. Including.. a senior poster that we all got to sign.. that made me happy. But what made me happiest was the fact that there were probably.. ten or fifteen students that stayed after, in addition to me, to help out. It's so awesome to see that other people have a passion for doing what I love to do. And it makes me feel even better about being the Vice President, because we have a really great group of kids this year.
[MATT]
I can't even begin to tell you how much I love him. And I'm pretty much 100% sure I'm head over heels in love with him. When I say I want to marry him, I'm being rather serious. We've both talked about it, as a not-in-the-near-future topic, of course, and we both agree that it is the desirable result of our relationship. However, we both know things can change, and we both realize that not everything that's built to last does last. Still, though.. we love each other. :) haha.. he's so much fun to just spend time with and talk to. He's really done a great job of being there for me when I need him - something a lot of people have trouble with - and he's put so much work into this relationship. We haven't really fought, per se.. we've disagreed a few times, argued a few times, but we've talked out the problem and gotten over it. We don't fight every day like some relationships, and I'm taking that as a good sign. And if something does happen, we don't hold grudges about it for days or months.. or years.. we just get over it, forget it, and learn from it. Matt is the truly stable point of my life right now, and I am so thankful and so blessed to have him here.
[ANBERLIN]
I've been addicted to Anberlin for the past month or so. I think I'm going to go buy one of their CDs.. either Cities or Never Take Friendship Personal. Both of those have some really great songs on it. *shrug* Maybe I'll do that this weekend. I'm not sure yet. But their song "Time and Confusion" is amazing. And I would sing it to Matt if I could. I'll have to post the lyrics after I finish this up.
[SPEAKING OF..]
Speaking of finishing up.. I guess I'd better go get my work clothes washed and my psychology homework done. So.. until next time!
.++.
Anberlin - Time And Confusion
Woah oh! Yea yea! Woah oh yea yea woah oh!
Woah oh! Yea yea! Woah oh yea yea woah oh!
Live for today, we'll dream tomorrow;
We've got big plans in sight.
We'll take this city, and by nightfall -
The bright lights are calling -
Everything is g... see alloing our way.
Everything is just as we planned;
This is our future for what we've heard,
And I've still got your hand.
And it feels like, we could last forever,
And I'm not doing this alone.
When memories fade, we've got each other..
When time and confusion collide..
Singing, "I hold it all when I hold you."
When friends walk other ways, we've got each other;
I hold it all when I hold, I hold it all when I hold you.
Woah oh! Yea yea!
Woah oh yea yea woah oh!
We fell on hard times;
This isn't the ideal:
We're miles from home, doing the best that we can (the best that we can).
I wont do this without you (do this without you),
Wont do this without you so take heart,
'Cause you know that you have mine.
And it feels like, we could last forever,
And I'm not doin' this alone.
When memories fade, we've got each other..
When time and confusion collide..
Singing, "I hold it all when I hold you."
When friends walk other ways, we've got each other;
I hold it all when I hold, I hold it all when I hold..
It's not about the money we make,
It's about the passions that we ache for.
What makes your heart beat faster?
Tell me now, what does your body long after?
I don't care now where we live;
It's not where, or what, or who we were with.
I just need you in my life, so promise me again!
When memories fade, we've got each other..
When time and confusion collide..
Singing "I hold it all when I hold you."
When friends walk other ways, we've got each other;
I hold it all when I hold, I hold it all when I hold you.
Woah oh! Yea yea!
Woah oh yea yea woah oh!
9.11.2007
Happy :)
I'm so in love with him.
He makes me so incredibly happy.
And no matter what is going wrong in my life.
I'm still blessed to know that he'll stand by my side.
Mmm.. :)
He makes me so incredibly happy.
And no matter what is going wrong in my life.
I'm still blessed to know that he'll stand by my side.
Mmm.. :)
9.06.2007
Life as of late.
[FHS]
As far as my schooling at Frankfort is going.. it's been a really rough two weeks. I've had extra difficulty getting adjusted to the homework load this year, and it has taken and is still taking its toll on me. I've had so much work for Psychology to do I've wanted to shoot myself. AP Government is just really tough for me for some reason.. I think it's because I'm not a very government-oriented person, so I don't really think about the government a lot. And since that class requires you to think about government stuff.. yeah, it's not working out. Mrs. Cosner's class hasn't even been that easy, because one of the first days I was there, we covered something that I have always been and still am lost on. So I'm hoping to get help from her on that tomorrow. The problem is.. I'd have to go during Foundations.. and I usually use Foundations to do whatever homework Mr. Cowgill assigned us the day before. However, in addition to all of that.. I have a bunch of other stuff going on. I'll explain.
Mondays: free, thankfully.
Tuesdays: jazz band at 7:30 in the morning, SMILE team meeting every second Tuesday until 4:00 pm, Community band every week from 7:00 pm - 8:30 pm. Plus, this is one day I have Psychology, so factor in reading a chapter.
Wednesdays: drum lessons from 4:30 pm - 5:00 pm, church from 7:00 pm until 8:15 pm.
Thursdays: jazz band at 7:30 in the morning, free otherwise. But another day of Psychology, so factor in reading a chapter.
Fridays: as of now, I have football games, so I'm busy from about 4:45 pm or 5:00 pm until at least 10:30 pm.
Saturdays: I generally work at least four and a half hours.
Sundays: Church from 10:30 am until about 12:15 pm, and I generally work from about 1:00 pm until at least 5:00 pm. And then I have family dinner afterwards.
Not to mention the fact that I'm trying to also have a life.. as in.. socializing.. and that I'll have SMILE team events, other band events, church events.. and that I'm in a relationship that I'd rather not screw up. It's just.. a lot of stuff all at once.. and I haven't gotten used to being this busy. It's tough.
[COLLEGE]
Thankfully, I think I have college figured out. Well, as long as I can get billions of scholarships and very little financial aid. I plan on attending Frostburg State University in the fall majoring in Music Management. This will be excellent, because - although I really didn't take this into consideration in choosing a college - Matt is also going to FSU. So I'll know at least three people there -- one in my major. :) Mark has offered to help me with auditions and other things, including my senior project. I'm really grateful that I have friends.. acquaintances?.. like Mark. He's incredible.
[RELATIONSHIP]
Matt and I are still doing wonderfully. I've had some concerns, especially here lately. Partially because of my whole time situation and me generally being stressed out, but mostly because college is hanging over my head and I'm really afraid. That's the most problem in our relationship now: that I'm completely, utterly scared to death. And also the random mood swings I've had because I've been stressed, but he forgives me, which I'm very grateful for. The only thing that somewhat bothers me is that we only get to talk for a short time each night, and some nights, he's messing around on the computer and doesn't really pay attention to the conversation. But honestly, I do the same thing, so it's nothing terrible. And if that's the worst thing that I can bring up, then we obviously aren't having such terrible problems.
[BAND]
I'm honestly impressed with the band this year. For the most part, the attitudes have improved, the playing has improved, and the general success of the band seems to be improved. I didn't like our music at first, but it's really grown on me. Especially E.T.; that song is so much fun to play, in all these crazy time signatures with half-time marching and double-time marching and stuff. It's just really cool. I'm a complete and total band geek, and I'm proud. The only problem is.. I'm really not friends with anyone in band. Like, I am, but I'm not. So I usually keep to myself at games and competitions. I sit with Melissa and all.. but she's also with Josh and.. you know he and I don't have a good history. So it's like.. ehh, whatever. I don't mind it so much. At least Matt's going to the game tomorrow.
[JEALOUSY]
I'm still having some problems with jealousy, for some reason. And it's honestly only with one person in particular. And I don't understand why. We were talking about the game, and he was like, "I got to sit with her when we were going out last year, but I can't sit with you because you're in the drumline." And that's all it took to set me off. (Actually, just thinking about it now is setting me off into upset-mode again). But I don't understand why it upsets me. I guess just because I know that he once had strong feelings for her.. I think he even went so far as to say that he loved her.. well, he didn't tell her that, but he told us.. and it bothers me. Because I hate knowing that he's wanted to marry more people than me. I know he thought he'd marry Joanna, but they don't even talk anymore, so it doesn't bother me. But him and Madison don't talk anymore, either, and she still bothers me in context to him! Augh. This does not even make any sense. Growl. Oh well.
Anyway. I suppose it's time for me to go to sleep. Or at least get off the computer.
Goodnight!
As far as my schooling at Frankfort is going.. it's been a really rough two weeks. I've had extra difficulty getting adjusted to the homework load this year, and it has taken and is still taking its toll on me. I've had so much work for Psychology to do I've wanted to shoot myself. AP Government is just really tough for me for some reason.. I think it's because I'm not a very government-oriented person, so I don't really think about the government a lot. And since that class requires you to think about government stuff.. yeah, it's not working out. Mrs. Cosner's class hasn't even been that easy, because one of the first days I was there, we covered something that I have always been and still am lost on. So I'm hoping to get help from her on that tomorrow. The problem is.. I'd have to go during Foundations.. and I usually use Foundations to do whatever homework Mr. Cowgill assigned us the day before. However, in addition to all of that.. I have a bunch of other stuff going on. I'll explain.
Mondays: free, thankfully.
Tuesdays: jazz band at 7:30 in the morning, SMILE team meeting every second Tuesday until 4:00 pm, Community band every week from 7:00 pm - 8:30 pm. Plus, this is one day I have Psychology, so factor in reading a chapter.
Wednesdays: drum lessons from 4:30 pm - 5:00 pm, church from 7:00 pm until 8:15 pm.
Thursdays: jazz band at 7:30 in the morning, free otherwise. But another day of Psychology, so factor in reading a chapter.
Fridays: as of now, I have football games, so I'm busy from about 4:45 pm or 5:00 pm until at least 10:30 pm.
Saturdays: I generally work at least four and a half hours.
Sundays: Church from 10:30 am until about 12:15 pm, and I generally work from about 1:00 pm until at least 5:00 pm. And then I have family dinner afterwards.
Not to mention the fact that I'm trying to also have a life.. as in.. socializing.. and that I'll have SMILE team events, other band events, church events.. and that I'm in a relationship that I'd rather not screw up. It's just.. a lot of stuff all at once.. and I haven't gotten used to being this busy. It's tough.
[COLLEGE]
Thankfully, I think I have college figured out. Well, as long as I can get billions of scholarships and very little financial aid. I plan on attending Frostburg State University in the fall majoring in Music Management. This will be excellent, because - although I really didn't take this into consideration in choosing a college - Matt is also going to FSU. So I'll know at least three people there -- one in my major. :) Mark has offered to help me with auditions and other things, including my senior project. I'm really grateful that I have friends.. acquaintances?.. like Mark. He's incredible.
[RELATIONSHIP]
Matt and I are still doing wonderfully. I've had some concerns, especially here lately. Partially because of my whole time situation and me generally being stressed out, but mostly because college is hanging over my head and I'm really afraid. That's the most problem in our relationship now: that I'm completely, utterly scared to death. And also the random mood swings I've had because I've been stressed, but he forgives me, which I'm very grateful for. The only thing that somewhat bothers me is that we only get to talk for a short time each night, and some nights, he's messing around on the computer and doesn't really pay attention to the conversation. But honestly, I do the same thing, so it's nothing terrible. And if that's the worst thing that I can bring up, then we obviously aren't having such terrible problems.
[BAND]
I'm honestly impressed with the band this year. For the most part, the attitudes have improved, the playing has improved, and the general success of the band seems to be improved. I didn't like our music at first, but it's really grown on me. Especially E.T.; that song is so much fun to play, in all these crazy time signatures with half-time marching and double-time marching and stuff. It's just really cool. I'm a complete and total band geek, and I'm proud. The only problem is.. I'm really not friends with anyone in band. Like, I am, but I'm not. So I usually keep to myself at games and competitions. I sit with Melissa and all.. but she's also with Josh and.. you know he and I don't have a good history. So it's like.. ehh, whatever. I don't mind it so much. At least Matt's going to the game tomorrow.
[JEALOUSY]
I'm still having some problems with jealousy, for some reason. And it's honestly only with one person in particular. And I don't understand why. We were talking about the game, and he was like, "I got to sit with her when we were going out last year, but I can't sit with you because you're in the drumline." And that's all it took to set me off. (Actually, just thinking about it now is setting me off into upset-mode again). But I don't understand why it upsets me. I guess just because I know that he once had strong feelings for her.. I think he even went so far as to say that he loved her.. well, he didn't tell her that, but he told us.. and it bothers me. Because I hate knowing that he's wanted to marry more people than me. I know he thought he'd marry Joanna, but they don't even talk anymore, so it doesn't bother me. But him and Madison don't talk anymore, either, and she still bothers me in context to him! Augh. This does not even make any sense. Growl. Oh well.
Anyway. I suppose it's time for me to go to sleep. Or at least get off the computer.
Goodnight!
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