Life as of late.

[FHS]
As far as my schooling at Frankfort is going.. it's been a really rough two weeks. I've had extra difficulty getting adjusted to the homework load this year, and it has taken and is still taking its toll on me. I've had so much work for Psychology to do I've wanted to shoot myself. AP Government is just really tough for me for some reason.. I think it's because I'm not a very government-oriented person, so I don't really think about the government a lot. And since that class requires you to think about government stuff.. yeah, it's not working out. Mrs. Cosner's class hasn't even been that easy, because one of the first days I was there, we covered something that I have always been and still am lost on. So I'm hoping to get help from her on that tomorrow. The problem is.. I'd have to go during Foundations.. and I usually use Foundations to do whatever homework Mr. Cowgill assigned us the day before. However, in addition to all of that.. I have a bunch of other stuff going on. I'll explain.

Mondays: free, thankfully.
Tuesdays: jazz band at 7:30 in the morning, SMILE team meeting every second Tuesday until 4:00 pm, Community band every week from 7:00 pm - 8:30 pm. Plus, this is one day I have Psychology, so factor in reading a chapter.
Wednesdays: drum lessons from 4:30 pm - 5:00 pm, church from 7:00 pm until 8:15 pm.
Thursdays: jazz band at 7:30 in the morning, free otherwise. But another day of Psychology, so factor in reading a chapter.
Fridays: as of now, I have football games, so I'm busy from about 4:45 pm or 5:00 pm until at least 10:30 pm.
Saturdays: I generally work at least four and a half hours.
Sundays: Church from 10:30 am until about 12:15 pm, and I generally work from about 1:00 pm until at least 5:00 pm. And then I have family dinner afterwards.

Not to mention the fact that I'm trying to also have a life.. as in.. socializing.. and that I'll have SMILE team events, other band events, church events.. and that I'm in a relationship that I'd rather not screw up. It's just.. a lot of stuff all at once.. and I haven't gotten used to being this busy. It's tough.

[COLLEGE]
Thankfully, I think I have college figured out. Well, as long as I can get billions of scholarships and very little financial aid. I plan on attending Frostburg State University in the fall majoring in Music Management. This will be excellent, because - although I really didn't take this into consideration in choosing a college - Matt is also going to FSU. So I'll know at least three people there -- one in my major. :) Mark has offered to help me with auditions and other things, including my senior project. I'm really grateful that I have friends.. acquaintances?.. like Mark. He's incredible.

[RELATIONSHIP]
Matt and I are still doing wonderfully. I've had some concerns, especially here lately. Partially because of my whole time situation and me generally being stressed out, but mostly because college is hanging over my head and I'm really afraid. That's the most problem in our relationship now: that I'm completely, utterly scared to death. And also the random mood swings I've had because I've been stressed, but he forgives me, which I'm very grateful for. The only thing that somewhat bothers me is that we only get to talk for a short time each night, and some nights, he's messing around on the computer and doesn't really pay attention to the conversation. But honestly, I do the same thing, so it's nothing terrible. And if that's the worst thing that I can bring up, then we obviously aren't having such terrible problems.

[BAND]
I'm honestly impressed with the band this year. For the most part, the attitudes have improved, the playing has improved, and the general success of the band seems to be improved. I didn't like our music at first, but it's really grown on me. Especially E.T.; that song is so much fun to play, in all these crazy time signatures with half-time marching and double-time marching and stuff. It's just really cool. I'm a complete and total band geek, and I'm proud. The only problem is.. I'm really not friends with anyone in band. Like, I am, but I'm not. So I usually keep to myself at games and competitions. I sit with Melissa and all.. but she's also with Josh and.. you know he and I don't have a good history. So it's like.. ehh, whatever. I don't mind it so much. At least Matt's going to the game tomorrow.

[JEALOUSY]
I'm still having some problems with jealousy, for some reason. And it's honestly only with one person in particular. And I don't understand why. We were talking about the game, and he was like, "I got to sit with her when we were going out last year, but I can't sit with you because you're in the drumline." And that's all it took to set me off. (Actually, just thinking about it now is setting me off into upset-mode again). But I don't understand why it upsets me. I guess just because I know that he once had strong feelings for her.. I think he even went so far as to say that he loved her.. well, he didn't tell her that, but he told us.. and it bothers me. Because I hate knowing that he's wanted to marry more people than me. I know he thought he'd marry Joanna, but they don't even talk anymore, so it doesn't bother me. But him and Madison don't talk anymore, either, and she still bothers me in context to him! Augh. This does not even make any sense. Growl. Oh well.

Anyway. I suppose it's time for me to go to sleep. Or at least get off the computer.
Goodnight!