Stress.. or lack thereof.

So since my last blog, I've prayed quite a bit -- not suprisingly -- and I do feel a bit better. It's weird, because everytime I say, "I need to talk to Matt about this," or something like that, it DUMPS snow. And yesterday was no exception, apparently. However, I'm fairly sure I've decided my major.. I'm just working on figuring out where I want to go to college. And once I figure that out.. I still want to sit and talk to Matt about all of that. But I figure we've been "officially dating" for almost three months, "officially talking" for four and a half (and just having mutual feelings for about five), so I've got some time to worry about the future. There's still possibilities we won't even make it that far, so it's not something that I absolutely have to talk to him about this instant. The only part of things that scare me is, like I mentioned, I see this becoming serious. And I don't want it to end up like every other high school relationship. Many high school relationships are like gloves with the fingers cut out of them -- they look good, they feel good, but when it comes time for the true "use" of them (love, anyone?), they fail miserably. In other words.. it's all for show, and there's no feelings there. So as it stands now, we're doing good at not failing miserably in that department. :)
I just worry that I'm too committed, or not committed enough.. or that I think too much about the future, and that freaks people out a lot. I never know what to expect out of relationships, because my last one was bad enough, and the two "relationships" (I'm not sure what they'd be classified as) before that were just very.. abnormal. So it's more or less like this is a learning experience for me. Then again.. life is a learning experience..
Either way. One good thing about all of this is that Matt is quite the supportive boyfriend. And he's rather thoughtful.. and a gentleman (most of the time.. lol).. very sweet and romantic.. and generally a really great guy. Plus -- he actually calls me -- and I actually call him back. (I know, I know.. shocking! lol) But he really knows how to treat a girl respectfully, and he isn't all, "I want to have sex with you," or anything psycho like that.. he's a really good guy. I think I'll keep him. :)
On another note.. I give my full blessing to Megan and Nate if they'd decide to ever get married. Nate and Matt remind me that there really are gentlemen left in the world. They are both absolute sweethearts who think that their girlfriends could get better. Duhhh, of course not. (Granted, I think the same thing about myself -- that Matt could do better -- but he denies, so I guess we're all in the same boat.) But Nate has really impressed me. I mean -- I originally met him and thought, "Oh, he's a nice guy, but nothing stands out about him right now." But he has so proved me wrong. I've never seen a guy do so much for a girl that he loves.. it's so adorable. It's funny -- you know how sometimes, people tell you "cute" stories, and you say, "Awww.." but you don't really mean it? Just for lack of a better thing to say? Most of the time, that's how I am.. but whenever Megan or him tells me a story or a gift idea, or whatever.. I'm so happy for them! haha.. cuteee. :) [And, by the way -- I love them both, but especially MEGAN!]
So now that I've rambled.. I've decided that I tend to flip out and stress over things that I can calm down about.. granted, I'll probably talk to Matt about some stuff this weekend if we get time.. but if I don't, then I'm not going to push it. Especially because I know that if God wants it to work out, He'll let us discuss it in His time, and if it isn't going to work out, He'll show us. And if it doesn't -- so be it -- but I would definitely like it to. :)

Mike: "Alex, what do you want to do before Jesus comes back?"
Alex: "I think I'd like Him to wait until I'm married.."
Staci: "But Alex, if you wait until your married, and your kids say the same thing, then what'll happen?"
Alex: "... HAH!"

I love my youth group. <3

Carrie Underwood -- The Night Before (Life Goes On)
[has been on repeat on my iPod for a month now.]
Sitting up on the roof, sneaking a smoke by the chimney, checking out the moon and the city lights. He takes off his flannel shirt, and he drapes it around her shoulders, slides up behind her and holds on tight. And she says, "I don't want this night to end.. why does it have to end?"

Tomorrow she'll be rolling down I-10, Baton Rouge, LSU, 18 years in her rearview. He's got a Friday paycheck lined up down the block, at daddy's shop; it ain't much but its a job.
They've been dreading this moment all summer long... the night before life goes on...

A tear falls off her cheek and right when it hits his arm he says, "Come on baby -- let's get outta here." They take one last drive around town, and man it already looks different. He bangs the wheel and says, "Life ain't fair. And this growing up stuff -- man I don't know... I just don't wanna let you go."

Tomorrow she'll be rolling down I-10, Baton Rouge, LSU, 18 years in her rearview. He's got a Friday paycheck lined up down the block, at daddy's shop; it ain't much but its a job. They've been dreading this moment all summer long... the night before life goes on...

Yeah that's what my momma told me, and just like those kids, I didn't wanna listen to no one. Yeah, there's nothing you can do, there's nothing you can say, and I know how it feels when love goes away...

Tomorrow she'll be rolling down I-10, Baton Rouge, LSU, 18 years in her rear-view. He's got a Friday paycheck lined up down the block, at daddy's shop; it ain't much but its a job. They've been dreading this moment all summer long... but here it is, they don't have long... the night before life goes on...