I need some peace and serenity.

I had really hoped my senior year wouldn't come down to this.

Drama.
Stress.
Papers that make or break your grade.
Presentations that do the same.
Losing old friends.
Making new (not so great) friends.

Matt is the big glimmer of hope. I confided something in him that probably seemed silly and overdramatized in his eyes, but it was really important to me.. and it made me realize how ridiculous I get sometimes. And then it made me even more aware that he is probably the best (maybe the only) thing that I have going for me right now. His future is set.. he's more than content with how things are going.. he doesn't have to stress out over grades or scholarships, because he's covered.. he knows what he wants and he has the personality that will allow him to get it.. he has at least twice the amount of friends that I do, and they all love him to pieces.. he just has everything going for him.. to be quite honest, I hardly feel like I even deserve him. After the last guy I dated, I was very.. "I'm better than that, I deserve better than that." Well, now I have 'better than that', and I don't want him, because.. he's too good. It's too good to be true. Relationships don't just.. work. It's pretty sad when you're jealous of your own boyfriend because everything the freakin' kid touches turns to gold.

Everyone thinks I'm crazy for saying this stuff.. I'm starting to think they're right.

*shrug*