The band has been doing fairly well this year. I don't really enjoy it as much as I used to... but I think that's just because it's been four years of it, and I want a break. Plus, all of my friends from band are pretty much.. well.. they've just changed. A lot. Actually, all of my friends have changed a lot. To the point where I really don't want to hang out with any of them anymore. They've all adapted lifestyles that I don't agree with.. and some of them subtly put me down for my views.. or make fun of me (not-so-subtly, even though they think they're being subtle). I have Megan and Arik.. and Matt, of course.. he's my bestest.. and that's actually about it. I feel closer with Matt's family then I do with my friends. Like Timmy, and Josh, and Tim, and Gramma Mike. Especially Tim, though. I think if I ever had a problem, I could go to him about it, and he'd have good, Christian advice for me, and he'd keep it confidential. And half of my friends.. well.. I guess I could talk to them about stuff.. but they like to spread things around. But anyway.. I'm doing well in my classes now. Thankfully. I have like.. over 100% in College Prep Math. And I think I have an A in Cowgill's.. but it might actually be a B. I'm not sure. And then I'm never sure about English. But I think I have an A in British Literature. And I have no reason to not have an A in English 101. And in Psychology 101, I think I have a B. So I'm pretty excited.
[COLLEGE]
So.. since my last post.. I am pleased to announce that...
I HAVE BEEN ACCEPTED BY
CONCORD UNIVERSITY!!
CONCORD UNIVERSITY!!
And I'm definitely going. Well.. almost definitely. I know it's what I want to do.. but I'm afraid of two things. Somewhat afraid of how that will affect those around me.. as in, my family and Matt. But mostly afraid that it's not what God wants me to do with my life. I mean.. I think it is.. and I really feel like I should be going there and all.. but I just worry that I'm making the wrong decision. I'm also really afraid of how Matt and I are going to handle this. It's like.. I need to hear that we'll make it.. and all of that. But that's reassurance that nobody can give. I have to have faith in this relationship and trust in God and in Matt that this will work out. And trusting people and having faith in things were never my strong points.. so I'm taking this really tough. I hate not being able to see him. And my parents.. I'll definitely miss them. But I know that Mom and Dad will actually be able to come and visit, and so will Aiya. Matt will have to work around his school schedule as well. And it bums me out that I probably won't be at any of his soccer games or anything like that, and that he won't be at any of my performances or anything with the band. But I guess that's expected when one person moves four hours away. *sigh*
[BOYFRANNN]
Matt and I are better than ever, despite all of the college stuff. Among other recent.. umm.. "issues". But that's something between he and I entirely (yes, I'm still a virgin). I feel suddenly.. closer.. or something.. to him now. I feel like we could actually possibly make it. And I like feeling that. I mean, I'm still horribly terrified. But I actually believe Matt when he says he'll keep the relationship going as long as I will, and that he'll put forth all of his effort. As long as neither of us decide that we "just don't have time for a relationship", we'll be okay. I hope. As silly as this sounds, I do kind of want to be engaged while I'm in college. Or at least just "promised". Just.. y'know. It'd be nice. I don't know. It's just.. there comes a time when you're with someone.. and you.. you just know. You know they're the person you're going to marry. You know they're the only person for you. You know that you don't care what happens in your life.. as long as they're there to share it with you. And I know that I've found that with Matt. :)
[ANYWAY...]
I have homework to be doing and whatnot. But I will tell you that Matt and I finally have a "song". Well, kind of. I proposed that it become our song due to upcoming events, and he was like, "Okay!" haha.. cute. :) So I'm going to go write a paper and leave you with zee lyrics.
.++.
Once upon a time.. not so long ago...
Tommy used to work on the docks. Union's been on strike, he's down on his luck; it's tough.. so tough.. Gina works the diner all day, working for her man, she brings home her pay for love.. for love..
She says, "we've got to hold on to what we've got, 'cause it doesn't make a difference if we make it or not. We've got each other, and that's a lot for love; we'll give it a shot. Whoa, we're halfway there; whoa, livin' on a prayer. Take my hand and we'll make it - I swear.. whoa, we're livin' on a prayer.."
Tommy's got his six string in hock -- now he's holding in what he used to make it talk, so tough.. it's tough.. Gina dreams of running away; when she cries in the night, Tommy whispers, "Baby, it's okay.. someday.. we've got to hold on to what we've got, 'cause it doesn't make a difference if we make it or not. We've got each other, and thats a lot for love; we'll give it a shot. Whoa, we're halfway there; whoa, livin' on a prayer. Take my hand and we'll make it - I swear.. whoa, we're livin' on a prayer. We've got to hold on, ready or not; you live for the fight when it's all that you've got. Whoa, we're halfway there; whoa, livin' on a prayer. Take my hand and we'll make it - I swear.. whoa, we're livin' on a prayer.."
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