*sigh*

This has been a rough week for me for some reason. My emotions have been all over the board...

I got bunches of information from Frostburg State University. Since I was accepted there, I got my room request form and all of that stuff.. and the more information I get from there.. the more I'm regretting choosing Concord. I mean.. sure.. it's a great college.. and I'll probably love it there.. but I am so completely envious of my boyfriend that he gets to get an apartment with one of his best friends and live right near everyone he's grown up with his entire life. I get to live on campus (with my best friend) whether I want to or not, and I'm four hours + away from everyone else that I know and love. I'll be lucky if I know anyone else at my college, even. I love Frostburg. I don't know why I decided not to go there. I'm regretting my choices more and more every day. But it's out of state, anyway, so I wouldn't be able to go there. At least I picked a school that will probably be able to give me a good education..

Matt keeps talking about him and Matt Cosner getting an apartment together, and all of this stuff.. and it keeps upsetting me. I'm not sure why.. I mean.. I've been getting Concord information for a while now and I've been fine.. thinking about me going away to college and whatnot.. but it's like.. as soon as he starts talking about him being in college and all that.. I start flipping out. I don't understand it. But I know this whole college business is stressing me out more now that I've actually been accepted. I have to apply for scholarships and fill out forms and wait for acceptance letters so I can do room request forms and.. ugh. I just want it to stop.

My friggin' AP Government homework is killing me. It's the most ridiculous busy-work type assignment Cowgill has ever given us. And I love Mr. Cowgill, don't get me wrong.. but this is nuts. FOUR PAGES?! Our papers we write for English 101 aren't even that long.. they're 750 words.. which is roughly two and a half pages. Argh..

I think I might make a new blog for my family (and friends who care) to read, especially while I'm away at college. That way, they'll know what's going on in my life and whatnot, and it saves me time with calling every single one of them every night.. y'know? Good lord.. why am I freaking out about this so much..

And to make matters worse, I have this voice nagging me in my head with, "Break up with Matt. You and Matt are better off as friends. College is coming up and you'll be heartbroken and not be able to focus on your studies. At least if you do it now, you'll be over it by next August." I'm completely miserable right now. I feel guilty for thinking that. Terribly guilty. What's even worse is that some days.. I agree with that nagging voice in my head.

Jeesh. This is too depressing. I think I'm going to go try to finish my AP Government homework.